Monday, January 21, 2013

The Prince and The Queen - Election fairy tale

Andrew Holness (left) leader of the Opposition JLP gets a
kiss from Prime Minister Portia Simpson Miller.  
Found this post I had written some time ago. Well, a year later I am just posting it.


A Jamaican fairy tale is how best you could describe the recently-held elections, and barring witches, vodoos, pretty dresses and pumpkins turning into chariots and all that mumbo jumbo, it has turned out to be an eye-opening experience, one that bedtime stories are made of.

Forget the once upon a time introduction, this is the reality of politics in Jamaica and in true yardie style, our politicians totally outdid themselves for this election. It was one of many contradictions and one that shots down the true meaning of Christmas. However, it was a time, not so long ago, though, that a loader man was turned into a Prince and a woman that loved the poor and kissed a lot crowned herself Queen. Down with the monarch, I guess. 


On with it ... the newly crowned Prince was motivated by the people from 'Green Land' to "call it", and so he did, not knowing that Santa would be grieved and crossed him of the nice list (welcome to the naughty club prince). 


So it began, the rise of political royalties in a battle for the kingdom and the support of the aristocrats and serfs that the prince brought in a generation of court jesters and the queen, wanting to be a high roller bought a a faulty JEEP that backfired so much that it reminded people of the an incursion. The promises of jobs, jobs, jobs and free this and that were no longer the issue and the confidence in politicians by Jamaicans dipped so far that it could not be repaired by the National Work Agency - by the way they recently refurbished the office. 


All through the election period papers flew, crickets chirped and duppy stories were told with the goal of getting the peasants and the aristocrats to mark the X for the bell to ring and the heads to nod. But in true fashion and the need to be, the masses heeded the call to play and party in the greens and taste of the oranges. Boredom for some, did not exist despite the attempts of the archbishop who ordered that the flags be taken down and  royalty be banished for failure to comply. Still no such luck. 


With Robin Hood from the West in jail, the Sherif running the Chief Serf out of town, the flags up, Scrappy and the Devil became real and a new generation of jesters in performance, it was time for the debates to begin as to who would be best to rule the kingdom. This made some people sad while some were gay and beaming with pride. Not just at the fact that the Prince was endorsing himself in such colourful profile but at the fact that the Queen was addressing a tabooed issue. 


In the end, Christmas came and went and the promising Prince found out that he would not be King this time around but he instead found out that he was an adopted son of the Queen, making him and the dreadlocked prince brothers after all. A princess found out you need more than one horse to have a race and the judge found out that it's Pricey to quit your job and go into politics. As for the Chief Serf, he has not been seen since and their tough times are ahead for some people in south-side of the land. 


P.S. Santa is still still angry hence no gifts were delivered for the Prince. Prince - 21, Queen - 42. 


The end!

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